


Reading the Signs

by Blueberryshortcake



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Carolina and Donut instantly know what's up, Googled Astrology, M/M, Tucker is painfully clueless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 03:53:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14252469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueberryshortcake/pseuds/Blueberryshortcake
Summary: Tucker learns that Wash is gay. And he has no problem with that at all. Not. At. All. So why is he making things so weird?





	Reading the Signs

It started innocently enough. Breakfast at Blue Base, talking about former conquests.

“You really think you’re a ladies man?” Carolina snorted.

“What!?” Tucker exclaimed. “Is that in question?? How long have you known me?”

“You’re allll talk,” She emphasized, smirking.

“He does talk about it a lot,” Caboose put in while spreading an abundance of peanut butter on his toast.

“Dude! Shut up! Girls throw themselves at me!”

“When someone throws themself at you, you should duck,” Caboose said wisely before taking a huge bite. Tucker side eyed him. 

Wash silently pushed a glass of milk over to Caboose when it became apparently he couldn’t stop chewing.

“Wash, you know how it is.”

“Huh?” Wash looked caught out.

“You’re a ladies man too, you get it right? Back me up!”

Wash continued to stare at him. “What? N–wait you don’t know?”

Carolina looked between them and laughed really hard.

Tucker huffed, “What’s so funny? Are you telling me Wash is a thirty-something virgin with those abs?”

Carolina clutched her chest laughing harder, “I’m dying. How long have you known each other now?”  
  
Wash rolled his eyes at her.

“Stupid Tucker,” Caboose said after downing his milk.

“Oh God, even Caboose knows.”  
  
“Carolina!” Wash whined.

“Dude? What’s so funny?” Tucker demanded.

“I’m gay, Tucker,” Wash said. “So… no, not a ladies man. You really didn’t know?”

He hadn’t. He really hadn’t. At all.

How had everyone else known though?! It wasn’t like Wash EVER talked about normal things like bad dates, or his type or anything. Carolina okay, fine, she’s known him since Freelancer, but Caboose? The others???

-

“Uh, yeah?” Grif looked at him blankly. “So?”

“Wait, you knew too!?” Tucker shouted.

“You didn’t?” Simmons asked, dumbfounded.  

“How did you know?” Tucker asked.

“He didn’t hide it,” Simmons said, “Does this really matter to you?”

“No!” Tucker denied, “–I mean.. Sort of…not because I care, but I didn’t know!”

“The hot dudes going into his room at night with him didn’t tip ya off?” Grif asked.

“Hot dudes?!?!” Tucker squeaked.

Simmons snorted. “How self absorbed are you?”

“I was out doing recon and shit!” Tucker said in his own defense. “You two were the ones hiding at base, and he was stuck back there to train everyone and deal with Doyle and Vanessa.”

“Okay but it’s not like the hot dudes magically disappeared when you were back.” Grif yawned. “Are we doing this band practice or not?”

Hot dudes?

Now he was wracking his brain thinking about hot dudes. What hot dudes? Guys that were hot… guys that were hot enough for Wash to sleep with . A lot apparently.

-

Wash was lying in the grass. Tucker came over and looked down at him.  
  
“Uh, hey Tucker. Need anything?”

“There were no hot dudes on Chorus.”

Wash gave him a long look. “You know I don’t understand your line of thinking with a non-sequitur like that… and people think I’m cryptic.”

Tucker flung himself on the ground and tugged up some of the grass.

“Grif and Simmons said you had a bunch of hot guys in your room at night all the time when we were in Armonia.”

“A bunch of hot guys?” Wash laughed.

Tucker felt oddly relieved. “So you didn’t?”

“There were a couple of people I passed the time with,” He glanced at Tucker, suddenly looking unsure, “Do you… have a problem with that?”

“No!” Tucker instantly denied. “I don’t! But you did?”

He didn’t have a problem with Gay Wash–with Wash being gay. That wasn’t–there was no problem. He knew lots of gay people. Donut…probably…and pretty sure Grif and Simmons were doing it…and Kai was bi–

“I did…” Wash gave him an odd look. “I’m not a monk.”

“What type of guys?”

“What??”

He was being confusing, he was just confusing Gay Wash–Wash. He was just confusing him.

“Like what type of guys did you do–cause I was there too, there weren’t any hot guys that I could see you doing.”

“Tucker. This conversation needed to end several sentences ago,” Wash said flatly.

Fuck. He was fucking this up. He was being weird. Okay…

“Sorry, I’ll shut up.”

-

It didn’t bug him. It didn’t. So Wash was gay. So what? That didn’t change anything. It wasn’t like Wash had changed. He wasn’t hitting on Tucker or anything–

But he was having sex with random guys on Chorus…

“His type?” Carolina raised her eyebrow.

“Like, you’ve known him a while,” Tucker said slowly. He had agreed to spar (aka get his ass kicked) with Carolina because it meant he could dig for more info on this.

Because he totally didn’t have a problem.

Be he just–he needed to know a bit more.

“Why are you so obsessed with this?” Carolina asked. She swept his legs and easily pinned him to the floor. “One point.”

“Fuck–ugh–I’m not obsessed with this.”

“Big guys,” Carolina said helping him up.

“W-w-w–ha—big guys?”

“Mhm,” Carolina nodded. “Muscles.”

“E-examples?”

She gave him a long look… then her eyes lit up. She slowly smiled. “Like Andersmith.”

“HE DID ANDERSMITH?!?”

She swept his legs again.

“Two points.”

“OW!”

“No, but physically, that’s the sort of guy he goes for,” Carolina said helping him up again. “Strong, tall, muscular. Like Donut, farmboy type would be right up his alley.”

“Donut?”

“Is there an echo in here?”

“Is he with Donut?”

Because nope. That isn’t acceptable. That isn’t…

“Does it seem like he’s with Donut, Tucker?”

“No.”

“There you are,” Carolina shrugged. She still had a tiny little smirk. Suddenly she charged forward and shoulder checked him to the ground.  
  
“Three points, I win,” She said cheerfully. “Remember, Tucker, when someone throws themselves at you, you should duck.”

-

“Sexual Tension?” Donut asked. He poured more fruity–fruitful–fruit-tasting! (HE WASN’T HOMOPHOBIC GOD DAMN IT) pink wine into Tucker’s glass.

“Yeah… I mean… I just want to know that like… “ There was no reason for him to be asking this. He didn’t even really know why he was asking this. Luckily, Donut liked answering questions without reasons behind them.

“Well there was Locus.”

“LOCUS?!?!?”

“Sure!” Donut said brightly, leaning back on the couch. “They had a weird sorta creepy tense sexual energy. I wouldn’t have been surprised if one night, Wash unable to sleep, training, Locus showing up. Commenting on his sparring. Both agree to a match and it gets–”

“Stop. Please stop.” Tucker took a huge gulp of wine.

“You’re supposed to sip,” Donut chided, “Putting it in your mouth all at once isn’t classy.”

“Right,” Tucker sighed.

  
Something seemed to occur to Donut. He glanced at Tucker and dropped his voice a little, “It’s too bad he’s a Virgo.”

“Hm?” Tucker took another sip of wine.

“Wash, classic Virgo. Otherwise I’d offer him a ride, but alas,” He gestured at himself, “Gemini.”

Tucker spat out his wine.

“Whoopsie. You’re supposed to swallow it all, Tucker,” Donut said innocently.

-

“What are you looking at Tucker?”

Tucker startled.  “Remind me to get you a bell, Caboose. It’s just–horoscope shit.”

Caboose looked over shoulder. “I’m a crab.”

“What?”

“The Crab,” Caboose pointed at the sign for Cancer.

“Oh,” Tucker read through it, “Figures.”

“Because I am good at pinching things?” Tucker dodged before Caboose could demonstrate.

“No, I mean compatibility-wise,” Tucker said.

  
“With the scorpions,” Caboose said proudly. “Church is a scorpion.”

“Surprising no one. You’re also compatible with Virgos…Wash is a Virgo you know.”

“What are you, Tucker?”

“Sagittarius,” Tucker threw the data pad onto the table in frustration, “This stuff doesn’t mean anything anyway, it’s all made up. And we’re on like, an alien Moon not Earth. Wash wasn’t even born on Earth, I think he said he was from a colony, and–”

Caboose tilted his head staring at Tucker, processing. “OHHHHHH.”

“What?”

“Agent Washington doesn’t care if you’re an arrow, Tucker. He still likes you! Just don’t pierce his virgin.”

Tucker did not want to know who taught Caboose about star signs.

“Right. Yeah. Thanks for your help…”

“You’re welcome!” Caboose said cheerfully.

-

Tucker had been avoiding him.  
  
“Tucker.”

Just keep walking. Pretend you didn’t hear.

“Tucker!!”

Keep goi—

  
“FUCK DUDE!”

Wash had tackled him. Tackled him!!”

  
Damn it, he really did need to learn how to duck when people throw themselves at him…  
  
Although with Wash it wasn’t–

“We need to talk,” Wash said in his serious, freelancer Washington voice.

Crap.

It wasn’t like it was just Tucker avoiding Wash. Wash had been avoiding him too!

Although, could Tucker really blame him? He had been acting like a douchebag. He was making things weird, but it was driving him crazy. He hated the idea of Wash and some random guys on Chorus.

Big, muscled Taurus no doubt…

“Okay, dude,” Tucker said as casually as possible. He followed Wash out onto the grassy hill overlooking the field. They both sat down. Wash spoke first.

“Are you worried about me hitting on you? Because–”

Tucker’s stomach twisted. “No man, no that’s not–I really don’t have a problem with you being gay. I don’t. You’re like, my…” What? Best friend? It wasn’t really the right word when he thought about it, but Wash was important to him… “You’re like a brother to me!” he finished….no… no that didn’t work either–

“Then why?” Wash asked. “I know you can be immature, but–”

“I am, I am immature, but I’m not–listen I know I’ve said shitty things in the past, but I’m not like that anymore. I get it now.”

“Okay,” Wash said slowly. He looked away from Tucker, out at the field. “So what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing!”

“But something is bothering you about it,” Was countered, “Because you’re acting like this. So what is it?”

“You’re such a Virgo dude.”

“What?”

“Sorry, I’ve been doing some…research. Okay listen. I have no problem with you liking men. I just… don’t get… like… who on Chorus…” He tried to explain. “I just don’t like the thought of you with men.”

“What?” Wash asked helplessly, “So you’re okay with me liking men… but not me being with men?”

That sounded bad… but also correct. Shit, maybe he is homophobic. Fuck.

“But like,” Tucker said quickly, “Who on Chorus was really up to your standards? LIke, I know you, you’re a perfectionist, and paranoid, so you’d have to trust them, and like, you never mentioned anyone to me.”  
  
Wash nodded slowly, following along.

“And like, I know I’m not super muscular, but I mean, have you seen my calves? And I am like a little taller than you. And yeah, I’m a sagittarius but–”

Wash held up his hand. “Stop, back up. It sounds like you’re mad that I wasn’t hitting on you.”

“I mean, compared to those guys? Uh, yeah, I’m a bit insulted.”

“Tucker, you’re straight, why would I hit on you?”

Tucker opened and closed his mouth. “Huh,” He looked up at the sky. That was a good question.

“Oh, fuck,” Wash muttered to himself.

“What?”

“Could it be, Tucker… that maybe…” Wash looked pained. “…I don’t want to be wrong about this.”

“Go ahead, dude, can’t be more embarrassing than what I’ve been doing.”

Wash took a deep breath, “Could it be that, you don’t mind that I like men, but you do mind that I like men… that aren’t you?”

“Huh?”

Wash ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “Is it maybe that you’ve been  jealous after hearing that I had other people’s company?”

“Oh.”

No that’s…

“Yeah,” Tucker said suddenly. “Yep… yep… yeah…yeah that’s actually. Yes. Yes it…yes. Yep.”

“You okay?”

“Processing.”

“Okay…”

“I’m…I like girls.”

“Right.”

“But I also like… you.”

Tucker snuck a look. Wash was going a little bit pink.

“Okay.”

“I’m bi.”

“You don’t have to put a label on it if you’re not… ready for that.”

“No…I…” Tucker waved his hand trying to figure it out. “I think I just have… higher standards for dudes… cause now that I think about it, the guys I’ve had to choose from were the guys in Blood Gulch, and like… ew. Not to mention, guys in pornos are always pretty ugly so you just focus on the girl and–”

“Tucker?”

“Sorry, yeah… still processing.”

“Okay.”

Tucker’s eyes widened. He looked over at Wash.

“Is that–okay???”

“That you like me?”

Tucker nodded furiously.

“It’s… unexpected, but… uh… not…unpleasant.” Wash looked like he was trying to control his blush. “I–it’s good.”

Tucker seized his hand.

“Tucker!”

“No take backs, dude.”

Wash tugged his hand out of his grip, which made Tucker tense until he clasped Tucker’s properly.

“Okay,” Wash agreed.

They stared silently out, the wind blowing the grass, clouds floating lazily above them, both reeling.

Tucker took a deep breath and let himself smile. “Okay.”


End file.
